Grandbabies, Dead Ends, and Eulogies

As most of you know, we have our first grandchild baking in the oven. Baby Charlie is due to arrive in early November. Naturally, the idea of becoming Grandpa is a bit overwhelming on every kind of level: emotionally, relationally, intellectually, and metaphysically. One unexpected byproduct of becoming Grandpa is a bit of an obsession on my part with dying. Is this unusual? Having no referent, I'm not entirely certain. But, you know, "grandpa" seems to indicate a certain age, and a certain age seems to indicate a certain proximity to, you know. . . dying and stuff. Mind you, it's not like it's freaking me out in an unhealthy way or anything. As the great Woody Allen said, "It's not that I'm afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens." It's just something I've been thinking about.

Alice has been taking voice lessons this summer. She participated in the musicals at Towson High the past couple of years and wants to move up the theatrical ladder. Her voice teacher lives in a little house on a dead end street in Parkville, right off Joppa road. She does the lessons in her garage. I know it sounds a little sketchy, but hey - fourth kid, whatever. I don't ask questions. I was there the other night waiting in the car while Alice finished up her lesson. It was one of those hot nights we've been having this August, so I got out of my car and stood there in the dark, leaning against the door. As I stood there, I noticed a sign illuminated by a streetlamp at the bottom of the road. The sign read, "Road End." It occurred to me I was literally standing at the end of the road. Was God trying to tell me something?

David Brooks, the author and political commentator, talks about the difference between resume virtues and eulogy virtues. Resume virtues are characteristics that make us valuable employees. Things like initiative, intelligence, problem-solving, collaboration, and effort. Eulogy virtues are characteristics that make us valuable people. Things like compassion, generosity, kindness, love, and service. I get to decide every day which of these virtue sets I'm going to focus on. Am I busy writing a resume or a eulogy?

It's my hope as we embark on this year together that, as an office, we focus on eulogy virtues. It begins with how we treat one another in our own house, so to speak. Then it expands to our work with colleagues in other offices and, finally, to our work with teachers and parents and kids. Competence in our daily work is important and necessary, don't get me wrong. This is not an "either/or" proposition. But no one will stand up at your funeral to testify to the difference you made in his or her life by crafting a killer memo. So  when you stand in the dark, staring at the end of the road, which will it be? Resume or eulogy?

Write well, dear ones.